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I feel... something. Semi-detached if ya get what I mean. Seeing how I'm probably the only one that will read this then yes, yes I know what I mean :). I've felt like that for a while actually, just like I'm "observing" myself. Depersonalisation, probably a component of OCD.

I felt rather emotionally dead last night. Well actually I was somewhat depressed then I watched the first Family Guy, came on here and couldn't be arsed watching the second one but I watched the end of it. Then I saw Equilibrium was on so I was like ooh in a semi monotonous way. I've seen it before because I have it but I like it so I watched it :). Made me feel kind of dead though. I love how highly ironic life is sometimes, I'm in confliction with my emotions then I watch a film where the plot is that it's a world after WW III where everyone suppresses their emotions with a drug so that everyone's the same pretty much and that it's illegal to feel. Made me thankful for my emotions whatever they are :). Most of the time I have to look in a mirror just to see how I feel because sometimes what I feel on the inside doesn't show on the outside. I'm like a robot sometimes, I feel boring because I look so serious or whatever but actually I have loads of things in my head at the same time; it's odd. I'm scared of change but I can't wait for it. I've lived the past 5 years in fear, of myself mainly :/. I'm capable of being something amazing and for some reason it scares me, lol. The best safety lies in fear, oh yes. Anyway, I watched that whilst trying to think wtf Christian Bale was in or someone that looks like him in some random film that I can't remember. Then I watched Dark Angel, lol.