I want

a steam cleaner :). I've wanted one for ageees ever since I saw them on the shopping channel and was amazed and somewhat turned on :). Yes, cleaning turns me on; sometimes I smile really dirty after doing it ;D. It's odd because OCD rituals aren't supposed to make you any happier but the cleaning does so yeah :/.

I'm finally sorting my room out somewhat. Yeah, if you saw it you'd be like okkk but I have to do it bit by bit for various reasons. I think it may be a big cause of my OCD because I used to lie in bed planning what and how I would do it but way too tired to do it; a by product of depression... *cough*. Although it may be my thyroid that caused/causes it, or both. Idk, I need to find out though. I should find out if I'm bipolar soon :D. I feel kind of fraudulent though because there's supposed to be some sort of big thing that signifies you are but I've never been committed so, yeah. I do believe I am though, even though I'm a hypochondriac, lol.

Wow, I just had an orgasm in my head lol; writing really does help :). It almost scares me how good I'm gonna be when I finally get better though =D. I'll get therapy and medication and understanding (I hope) and also all the self help stuff I do which is pretty much why I'm still here.

Ooooh I want a chicken breast sub from SUBWAY :p.