...

meh, something, Idk.

I did something stupid before ¬_¬; I scratched myself :. Right near my veins as well :/, well near them, on them, through them -_-. My arms are like a road map of my life; the scars are pretty much faded though but sometimes I catch sight of them and memories come back; random and not quite there but still. I stopped doing it for ages, back then it was one long depressive episode pretty much with moments of agression. Nowadays it's moments of rage and aggression. I think as stupid as it sounds not knowing that I am what I am what I am and so on is reallly pissing me off and ironically to the point where I'm nearly doing the things that would marker me as manic depressive *cough*.

It looks so pretty in a weird way :). Oh shit being proud of it ain't a good thing ¬_¬... I think I'm gonna get a tattoo when this is "over". I know someone who did that to stop themself from self harming and it worked :). I know I can stop, I've done it for years (stopped I mean) but extreme circumstances would do this to anyone. I actually find it amazing I really haven't hurt myself :, God I have some strength, the amount of urges I've resisted :).

It will be healed by tomorrow lol. My hand keeps going cold though :.

I'm gonna play keyboard and if anyone doesn't like it they can fuck themselves :).